Item
by goingdownhillagain
Summary: There are times when Relena is really out of the loop of things.


**Item**

By goingdownhillagain

Yes folks, I know. You haven't seen my pathetic ass in a while. No I haven't died since last year. Unfortunately, life continues to conspire against me in its drive towards my total adultification.

The final part of my Understanding series is almost finished, but this little ditty came to me while I was working on it. To all those who put me as their Favorite Author or placed both Understanding and Misinterpretation as a Favorite Story…thank you. I will try to finish this last part…soon…I promise.

(Just so that you know, I'm a teacher now and my younger sister, for her school project finals, is using my laptop. I'm now typing on my birthday, for the first time in two weeks. Yayness!)

P.S. **Ronin:** If you read this, I'm definitely using your news report idea. However I think I'm going to rework it a bit. You don't mind, do you?

Okay, on with the awkwardness…and gas.

_____________________________________________________________________

His footsteps were steady yet muted on the plush carpet. It was night, but to his eyes followed the passage of doorknobs, his sharp mind counting the glimmer of each metal handle. They would probably be looking for him now, but he had sabotaged all possible routes. His escape was insured and most importantly he had the cargo.

"Heero? Heero, put me down this minute!"

There was a security camera over one of the doors. He dealt with it.

"Heero! I know you can hear me! Put me down! Now!"

Of course he could hear her. The plan was to make her comfortable, not smother her.

"Heero? I need to talk to you. Please stop?"

There was silence, then…

"No."

"WHAT?! What do you mean 'no'?"

"No, we're not at a secured location. Once I find one, we will stop."

"But we WERE at a secured location!"

"No we weren't."

"How!?"

"Subversive hostile elements."

He could hear Relena trying desperately to calm her breathing.

"He was the Prime Minister of Australia! How the hell he could be a hostile element?"

"Subversive."

"What?"

"He was a _subversive_ hostile element."

"And how could he be a-"

"He was standing too close to you."

There was silence.

"Heero, he had to be near me…HE WAS DANCING WITH ME!"

"I don't see why you're this angry. I was merely fulfilling my duties…both of them."

"Yes, I know you're fulfilling your…both? You have two missions?"

She heard him sigh in exasperation.

"Yes Relena. I am, first and foremost, your bodyguard. My duty is to protect you from any external threats that wish to eliminate you for political and personal reasons. As your boyfriend, it is my duty to protect you from men who are going to try and take advantage of you."

"Damnit Heero, that doesn't mean you-WHAT?!"

Heero came to a complete stop. He was getting annoyed.

"Relena, in case you haven't realized, you are the Vice Foreign Minister of the United Nations Earth Sphere. If I don't complete my duty, I put the entire stability of this government at risk."

"We're together?"

"Of course. We've had this conversation already."

"Oh really, and would you care to remind me _when_ we had this conversation?"

"When I went to face your mad-ass brother."

"Heero, he wasn't mad-ass…he was confused."

"Whatever."

"Anyhow, what happened while my brother was…um…"

Heero shifted her body into a more comfortable position. Then he started walking.

"I told you that if the situation was different we would be together. I promised that I would return to you. You said you would not have minded that."

"Yes, and as I do recall, you left to get yourself almost killed then_ disappeared _for a bloody _year_!"

"Would you have taken me at that point? I did threaten to kill you."

"True, but-"

"Besides I came back…"

"When I got kidnapped by Barton and Mariemaia-"

"And I didn't kill you and her on sight. You seemed happy with the improvement."

"Pffft."

"So, since everything was settled, we could officially be…official."

"And who explained all this to you?"

"Duo. He's very thorough with the explanations. He was the one who recommended I get you the teddy bear."

"Really? What were you going to give me?"

"Night-vision goggles with built-in infrared reader. It came with a 110volt taser."

"Oh, good thing you talked to him."

Relena jerked with momentum as Heero stopped. She heard the scrapping of a metal object against glass, followed by the slight breeze on the back of her thighs. Even that sensation disappeared as she felt Heero's hands re-arrange her ballroom gown.

"Heero you didn't answer my question. If it is you were ready to be with me, why did you leave…_again_?"

Heero was silent.

"I…needed to make sure everything connected to me was closed. I…I didn't want anyone…anything to threaten what came next. I had to make sure that if something went wrong…it wouldn't…be…"

"Heero, you know you can't control everything."

"I can try."

Relena fell silent. That was the one thing she could never forgive J for. Molding a naïve little boy into someone who would unquestionably sacrifice himself for the goals of others. But it was that same quality she lov-

"So you came back when everything was …organized…so what showed you I was interested?"

"Relena, you did. Before the Mariemaia Coup, when you kissed me. You started the kiss."

The kiss. She had many sleepless nights about it, her hormonally driven virgin mind relentlessly continuing the story, usually involving little clothing, the seashore and accommodating sand that refused to get into delicate crevices. By the time Mariemaia made her move, she had gotten herself under control. Unfortunately Heero hadn't changed his fashion sense since. Thank God he was forced to wear regulation uniform on duty.

"Yes, yes, I did. And yes, it was before the Mariemaia incident. But need I remind you that you _disappeared again_!"

"I'm here now."

Relena worked her mouth but nothing came out. After a while she gave up.

"Just so that you know, this is the last time you're dancing with anyone."

"Heero! He was the bloody Prime Minister of Australia. It was a diplomatic shot!"

"His hand was going too low. Next time he does it, I _will _cause an international incident."

"Like you haven't caused one already."

He snorted in response.

"Heero, normal couples go on dates. You could have at least worked one in. I need something to work with."

"I apologize for that. I was preparing to rectify the situation. However, the present situation needed clarification."

Suddenly Relena felt her balance shift as Heero swung her into a standing position. Her high heels hit the pavement with a solid thump. They were on the pathway to the garden at the back of the hall. Relena said a small prayer of thanks that at least it wasn't a PR diplomatic dance. The diplomats were there to privately celebrate talks that concluded that day. Some of their decision were not going to be popular come the morning. Still, her dance with the Prime Minister was a bit uncomfortable and she was thankful that Heero didn't notice when the old man nuzzled her breasts. Hopefully his last memory would be that, not Heero's fist coming…

"Heero, can I ask you something?"

He had begun to move off, her hand clasped firmly in his when she spoke. Recognizing the tone, he stopped and looked directly at her.

"Um…the attempted coup…with Mariemaia…"

"Yes?"

"When you…passed out after…shooting the base…"

"Yes, continue."

"When I was holding you…um…did you…I mean were you…um…"

"Just ask, Relena."

"Did you nuzzle my breasts with your cheek?"

Relena watched as Heero's face was wiped of emotion. For an instant she feared that she had asked for classified information. But as she watched, his nervous clench of his jaw calmed her almost immediately.

"Heero?"

He turned to face her.

"Yes…yes I did."

The crickets began their nightly performance.

"Oh…well…that's good to know."

Owari


End file.
